Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we're making bets on your personal life
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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