brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
