i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
