The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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