I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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