They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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