need another drink. this is the easiest way
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
