so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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