I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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