Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
