i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
