I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You made out with two different species that night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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