He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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