So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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