we have pet lesbian snakes
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
