theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
