1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
