We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
