There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wish there were birth control emojis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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