I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
