This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
