It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
