I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
