Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
