Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
