if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Randomize
