there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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