We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
