There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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