these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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