no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
