Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
