I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
