I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
