You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
