I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
