she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
