i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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