Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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