The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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