he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
