I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
