whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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