And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
