I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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