So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize