I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
