I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
