Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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