That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
